India, home to 1.2 billion people and atleast 5 different ethnicities is located in the Southern part of Asia. A unique blend of cultures & languages where accents change every 40 km. A huge Human sea containing every sort of fish. My introductory lines may appear offending the dignity of Indians by comparing them to fishes. BUT, The article is a light-hearted text not intended to offend anybody. Reader’s discretion is advised. We Indians are proud of our culture, and Nation, with a small amount of amount of self-obsession too. Diversity in every aspect is the unique quality that differentiates us from rest of the world. But differences that I wish to highlight would sometimes be contrasting and otherwise criticizing.
Here is a list of 5 differences between Indians and the rest of the world’s population.
In India, either you are a millionaire or a bargainere. Bargaining is the birth-right of our Indians. A hardcore bargainer saves atleast 10% of the total cost. Bargaining is the art of pointing out defects and threatening the shopkeeper to reduce the cost. “Sahi Sahi lagao Bhaiya” is the tagline of every bargaining campaign. Even the Defense Minister of India is affected by the bargaining syndrome. In Sep 2016, the Rafale deal was inked with a bargain percentage of 10%. Initially quoted at 8.6 billion Euros, the deal was finalized at 7.6 billion Euros. This is what you call hardcore bargaining. In addition to this, a supplementary weapon package worth 750 million Euros was also acquired. “Mighty bargainers we are called.”
Indian wedding is a sort of festival itself. Spanning atleast 3 days and in some cases even 10, it is a gathering of relatives. Not for the purpose of making merry but for the inspection of various arrangements done. The uncles criticize food while aunties complain about the dispassionate hospitality. The entire monetary savings of life is spent on this festival to uphold the dignity of the family. And they call us over-cautious. Height of impulsiveness, isn’t it? In India this business is worth billions of dollars. Unfortunately most of the transactions are carried out in cash, un-traced, eventually ending in the humongous black money pile.
English, the most coveted language in India, is spoken by almost every learned woman, or atleast tried by. India ranks 22 out of 72 countries in the EF English Proficiency Index. Indian English and Yes, you have read it tight is a form of English characteristic in India. We Indians have created our own version of English. And this is not the end. We have a distinction of introducing our own strange terms, especially relation terms. “Cousin Sister” is one such example, to name only one. Either you use “cousin” or “sister”, both when used simultaneously nullify each other. We definitely love new-comers and absorb their presence easily. But in the process forget the old ones. English should be used when there is no other medium to converse. Relation with roots if cut, will lead to loss of identity. Hint is the concept of the wise. Foolishness is getting carried away by someone else’s dazzle.
The Exact Indian
Indians are good at Mathematics and the World knows it. But is it important to show it publicly? Yes, as passionate Indian, it is my duty. Be it paying bills at a hotel, or paying bus fare, we don’t believe in paying the extra-anna. The exact amount is one which suits us. No tip, or extra charges. The matter of the fact is that we even quibble sometimes even at a small over-charge. Top secret is that while we fight against over-charging, at the same time devise tricky ways to save a Rupee or two. And both the customer and the proprietor know the intentions.
The bright is always hidden in the darkest corner. Britishers created Regiments in the Indian Army with an aim to divide. But the same idea today is the concept behind the structure of a brilliant and unified Army. This is how we look at things. “Indian” point of view. Many such examples can be sighted. We have traditions that are millennials old, and do we have even a single dent on the antiquity. The answer is NO. Everything is still intact in its pristine condition. Certain elements had to be removed for their atrocious nature but at a broader level, we are still linked with the roots. Upholding something for a period of 5000 years is indeed a matter of pride. Seriousness overloaded.